How To Define Your Ideal Client + Why It's Important | One Page Business Plan

Have you heard the saying,

"When you're talking to everybody, you're talking to nobody?"

 In my experience this couldn’t be more true and let me tell you, I had to learn that lesson the hard way. 

Honing in on your ideal client can be one of the stickiest spots for many business owners (myself included) and to have a thriving business filled with ideal customers it’s necessary.

This post is part of a bigger series around How To Create A One Page Business Plan That You Will Actually Use and today we are going to deep dive into one very important part of the plan, Defining Your Ideal Client. 

Defining Your Ideal Client

There is no shortage out there, of exercises and processes to find your ideal customer or clients. But, even with all of the available resources it did take me awhile to find a process that actually worked and didn't leave me more frustrated and confused at the end of it. 

Let's take a moment to define what an ideal client avatar is. 

Your ideal client avatar or ICA for short is the one person that represents your ideal target market, demographic, or person. It is more specific than your target market and is actually on the person (fictional or real) that you are passionate about serving and providing value to. 

I get asked all the time, “does it have to be one person?”.  

I know it can feel restricting to get your ICA down to this one person, but using the process I’m going to share with you today I'll show you how you can do it and feel great about it.  

Why Having One Ideal Client Avatar Is Important

Now more than ever, there are an abundance of products, services, and offers out there in the market. Anybody and everybody can be a business owner and can promote their products and services through things like Facebook, Instagram, and Google.  

Because of this, as consumers, we're getting more sensitive and need to create defense mechanisms to filter all of the information that's coming at us. So, what we do is create filters.  Unless a message is deemed directly related or important to us, our needs, our problems, we will filter it out. 

When it comes to defining out ideal client so often people cast the net too wide. They get scared about niching down and getting really specific about who it is that we're serving and what exactly this person is all about. 

The problem is when this happens the message gets watered down and it all of a sudden isn’t directly relevant to anyone and everybody  is tuned out. 

You know you have nailed your ideal client avatar when you are turning some people off of you, your product or service, and you are turning other people on.

The Million Dollar Ideal Client Question

So, take a moment to check in with yourself here and see, 

Do you know who it is that you are committed to serving?

If you know the answer to that question, awesome. Stick with me. We're going to dive even deeper. And if you don't know the answer to that question yet, do not worry. This next part of the process will actually help you reverse engineer that and get clear on who this person is. 

Straight Demographics vs. Psychological Demographics

There’s an important distinction to make between straight demographics and psychological demographics. 

Straight demographics are often what people talk about when defining ideal client avatars. Things like age, gender, location, etc. 

Those demographics are fine, but they're really general and we need to hone in more specifically than that. 

What we need to do is get into the heads of our ideal clients and create our ICA using psychological demographics.

What Are Psychological Demographics

Psychological demographics tune into values, motivations, and belief systems.

To do this we are going to explore some specific questions. You can find some of these questions on the One Page Business Plan as well.

Question #1

How do they want to feel? 

Question #2

What are they passionate about? 

Question #3

What are their fears 

Question #4

What problems are they trying to solve? 

Question #5

What are their goals and their aspirations? 

Question #6

What matters to them most? 

Question #7

What brands or people do they follow? 

Take some time to explore these questions for yourself and then take a look at the data that you have. From there you will likely be able to reverse engineer who this person is and bring them to life giving them a name, a photo, where they work, some of those straight demographics we put to the side to start.

Bring Your Ideal Client Avatar To Life

Your next step, once you've got your ICA is to bring them to life by creating a bio for them. This is something they might have on their website or maybe on their LinkedIn profile. A little snippet of who they are, what's important to them and what they're out to achieve in the world. 

The reaction many people have at this point in the process, is something like, “this feels kind of limiting. I've identified this one person but what about person or group x? 

Just because you have identified and defined this ideal client, doesn't mean you can't serve other people. It just means that you have created your “ideal” client. Some clients are going to be exact matches for you and others may not be exact matches. But, this is where the psychological demographics come in handy. If you match on things like meeting the needs for the problems that they're wanting to solve or for what they are out to achieve then great, you're likely going to be able to serve them on a really high level. And that is a win-win.

The Most Important Question -  So What?

You've now got this amazing bio of your ideal client and you're excited, but so what? 

None of this matters unless you do something with that information. 

It’s now time to start creating your content, your offers, your marketing speaking directly to your ideal client avatar. Find out where your ideal clients are, both online and offline and connect with them. Share yourself and what you are all about.  

Are You Ready?

Now you’ve got my top tips for creating an ideal client avatar that you can use to cater your messaging, your products, and your services, to makes sure that you're connecting with the people that you are committed to serving and that you're going to serve on a really high level. 

Because it is a shame if people do not know what you're able to offer and how you're able to help them, you're doing them a disservice, and we cannot have that because your message is way too important to share.

Download Your Copy Of The One Page Business Plan.

Kristin Constable, Whole Life Leadership + Business Coach

Define Your Vision For Your Business | ONE PAGE BUSINESS PLAN

If you have you ever felt stuck, uninspired or not really sure what the next right step for you is to take in your business, this post might be able to help. 

How To Create A One Page Business Plan That You Will Actually Use

This post is part of a bigger series around How To Create A One Page Business Plan That You'll Actually Use

Today, we’re going to deep dive into one specific area of that plan - Vision - to help you create that part of the plan for yourself. 

The Quality + Clarity Of Your Vision

If you have ever felt stuck, uninspired, or unsure about what to do next the coaching I would have likely given you would be to look at  the quality and the clarity of your vision. Often when we don't have clarity around where we're going and who we need to be to get there, it becomes unclear as to what the next step is. 

What Makes A Powerful Vision 

Your vision is your North Star. It's where you're going and who you need to be in the future in order to create that. 

It's future focused and it's aspirational. Your vision should guide you and orient you in a direction. It is not a destination. A destination is a goal. We are going to talk about goals later on in this business plan but it is important not to confuse vision with goals.  

The Power Of Visualization

Many people, when I work with them on visualization, say that they can't do it. They say things like, “I can't see anything”. 

Visualization isn't just visuals. It's not just what you see. It is a full sensory experience. 

To visualize and to create a vision that's really powerful, you need to do more than just create a one dimensional image of the thing. It needs to be a full sensory experience. 

How are you going to feel when you actually have this business that you want to create five years out, 10 years out?

 Where are you going to need to be? 

Who do you show up as? Are you confident? Are you grounded? Are you expansive? 

You want to tap into these feelings and embody them when you are doing your visualization. 

Tap into all of your senses. 

As you're creating your vision,

What are you seeing? 

What are you experiencing? 

How do you feel? 

What's the energy of the place? 

If we bring this back to business, and you are visualizing your business five years out, what is your office space feel like? Who's there with you? What do you smell when you walk into the office? What do you hear? What is your seat feel like when you sit down at your desk or stand up at your standing desk? 

These are the kind of details that you want to bring to life.

Make It Real

For a vision to have it's full power, for it to be creative, it needs to be realistic. And what I mean by realistic is that we have to trick our central nervous system into thinking that it has actually occurred.

The cool thing about this is our central nervous system is that it cannot differentiate between a real or imagined event. 

When we imagine an event in enough detail, enough times it becomes real on a physiological level.  This is why athletes use visualization and they have been for years is more that they can visualize the perfect shot or the perfect race. They can trick their central nervous system into actually believing that they swam that race or took that shot.

What they are doing is creating new neural pathways and new mental maps around success and around what ideal looks like.  

We can do this in our lives and our businesses too!

When you find yourself stuck or uninspired it could be that your Northstar is no longer clear. 

You want to come back to your vision over and over again and embody it and feel it and checking in on it to ensure that this is still the north star that you are going after? 

Joyfully Achieving

The final thing I want to share around creating a powerful vision is something that you'll be familiar with if you know me. It is the concept of Joyfully Achieving. 

Joyfully Achieving is being content in the present moment while being pulled forward by an inspiring vision for the future.

In order to Joyfully Achieve, you need both things. 

Creating an inspiring vision creates a gap between where you are now and where you want to be. This can be a good thing or it can create unhealthy stress and anxiety. 

Staying grounded in what is perfect about right now and being grateful for that is such an important piece to this puzzle.

Are You Ready?

Those are my top tips around How To Create A Powerful Vision. 

Download your copy of the One Page Business Plan to get some coaching questions to help you get started. 

Kristin Constable, Whole Life Leadership + Business Coach 

Leading With Purpose | One Page Business Plan

Welcome to part two of the How To Create A One Page Business Plan That You Will Actually Use

Last week’s post was on the concept of a one page business plan. A roadmap to your success and your business' success that doesn't take a lot of time and that will do a lot more than just sit on a shelf and collect dust. If you haven't downloaded the One Page Business Plan you can do that now so we can begin working through it together. 

Leading With Purpose

Today we are going to dive into the Purpose part of the business plan and It might be different than you think. Hint... This is not your business' purpose. 

If you've been an entrepreneur for any amount of time, you know that it is and can be a roller coaster ride. 

What you also know, is that if you're connected to why you're doing what you're doing, you will be able to ride all of the ups and the downs. 

My intention for this post is to help you create an unfuckable-with connection to what your purpose truly is. 

What I want to share with you is, although this is on the one page business plan and we're talking about your purpose in the context of business, this isn't your business' purpose. 

Simon Sinek and his viral TED talk Start With Why does a really great job of distinguishing and differentiating a business' purpose and why that's important. He talks about people don't buy what you do, they buy why you do it. If you need some support in finding out your business purpose or connecting to our business' purpose, that's a great resource to go to. 

I want to take this conversation around purpose one step back. As a small business owner, your business' purpose is really just an expression of your own purpose. Your business is a vehicle, or can be a vehicle, for you to express your purpose in this world.

As you might guess, this is a deep conversation. This isn't swimming in the shallow water here. There are some big and important questions to ask yourself. 

“Who am I?”

“What am I here to do?” 

I'm going to help you dig into this exploration with just a few key coaching questions and one simple practice. Let's dive in.

The purpose part of the business plan is hands down, the most important part of the plan. Also, probably the most challenging. 

This isn’t a five minute exercise you can just whip off and say it's done. It is a life-long exploration and an undoing and a creating. It's a little bit more like boiling water. It's not going to seem like a lot is going on at the beginning, but as soon as the water starts to boil and starts to bubble, you're going to get some activation. You're going to feel the full power of what it's like to live and lead from your purpose. Stick with it, and you will get to the place that you need to get to and it will feel amazing when you do.

Your purpose is not what you do. 

Your purpose is long-lasting, it's unchanging. It's something that can be applied to multiple different things, multiple different areas. 

I'll share my purpose statement with you to give you an example. 

To unlock light and activate ripple effects. 

This can be in my business through my coaching work, but that can also be in a conversation with my stepson, or in a grocery lineup with the clerk. It doesn't matter if I'm operating from my purpose, that is just an expression of who I am in the world. You business is an expression of who you are in the world through either a product or a service.

Here are three coaching questions to help you explore your purpose

Question #1:

What is the legacy that you would like to leave? 

Big question and many people start to freak out when they hear the word legacy because they think they have to be like Oprah Winfrey or Steven Jobs in order to leave a legacy. The reality is, is that we are all leaving a legacy all of the time, whether we realize it or not. The choice is whether we're consciously creating that legacy or not.

Question #2:

What are your gifts? 

Your gifts are different than your skills. Your gifts are things that you do with ease. With almost no effort. It's just who you are, it's how you show up in the world. It's things that you are able to impact and influence without trying all that hard. The thing with gifts is often they can be invisible to us because they do come so easily. 

Question #3:

Why do you do what you do? 

A really important question and often if you stop at the first answer, the first why you miss the mark.  The practice here is to dig deeper. Ask yourself, "Why do I do what I do?" five times.

It's going to feel uncomfortable, I promise you, and by the time you get to that fifth "why" you're going to be at a totally different place than the first why that you had. Stick with it and dig into that question. 

Know that the stronger and the deeper the connection you have to your purpose, the more unfuckable-with you will be. You can get knocked down and you will be able to get right back up because you know that you're doing what you're meant to be doing. You will be showing up and having an impact in the world in the way that you're meant to be showing up and having an impact.

Big, deep, important work here. 

I wish you luck on the journey. 

Don't forget to downloaded your One Page Business Plan.

Kristin Constable, Whole Life Leadership + Business Coach

How To Write A One Page Business Plan That You Will Actually Use

A question for you small business owners out there….

Do you feel confident that you've got a solid business plan and strategy that can help guide you and your business towards your goals?

If you aren’t a yes yet. it's okay. This post is the first in a series of posts that will help you create a strategic business plan that is simple, won’t take a ton of resources or time to create, and will become a working document that you use throughout the year.

Why most business plans don’t work

"Just follow your passion and everything else will take care of itself and fall into place." … said no one ever who actually started their own business. If you're a business owner, you know that passion is important, but it's not the whole thing. You need to have some business sense and a plan, because as they say, “a dream without a plan is just a wish”.

Now, I come from a corporate background and in corporate there were many, many years that I sat in board rooms with tons of people, external consultants coming in for weeks, maybe even months to work on our annual strategic plans.

I had a love-hate relationship with this time of year, because as someone who loves goal-setting and loves visioning, it was a really exciting time of year to get aligned and connected with everyone in the organization around what we were up to.

But… I also had a sense that it was a waste of time. We would spend so much time doing all of this work only to find ourselves months later not connected to the plans we had just created or being pulled off to something different. The plans would just become another document collecting dust on a shelf.

So let’s be clear, that's not the kind of strategic planning I'm going to talk about with you here. What I know being a small business owner myself, things change way too quickly. You can’t have a plan that is 365 days long that you never look at again until the next time that year!

What we're going to talk about today is a really efficient and effective way to do strategic business planning that gives you a strategic business plan on one page. A document that you can place somewhere that see every single day and revisit every 90 Days.

Each element of the plan is there for a very specific reason. Being such a simple plan every single piece of the plan has to earn its real estate and contribute to the whole. Let’s walk through each piece at a high level.

Part 1 - Purpose

The first part of the business plan, which is the most important but also the most elusive, is the Purpose section. The Purpose section is actually your purpose as the business owner NOT the business's purpose.

You are an important and critical part to your business and your business is an expression of your purpose in the world. Your business and your work gives you a vehicle to live into your purpose and it is important to clarify just how this is going to happen.

Getting clear on what that is, is important for two reasons:

Your Purpose is the thing that's going to keep you getting out of bed in the morning, it's going to keep you inspired when the road gets rough.

It is also going to help inspire others and help others get connected to your vision and why you do what you do.

Part 2 - Vision

The next part of the business plan was probably my favorite. I love championing visions. I love helping people discover and create what their future-focused vision is. The reason the Vision section earns its real estate on the one-page business plan is because it is your North Star.

A lot of people get confused around what a vision is. They believe that the vision is a destination that needs to be reached. I want to make this super clear; the vision is not a destination.

It's a North Star that orients you in a direction. It guides you on your journey.

You can learn more about How To Create A Powerful Vision in this video.

Part 3 - Ideal Client / Customer

The third part on the business plan is all around your ideal client. I often find that this is the hardest thing for business owners to do, and I get it, I am challenged with this all of the time. However, getting really, really clear on who your ideal customer is is so important. There is so much noise out there right now, so many offers, so many products, so many options for people, people need to feel like you're communicating straight to them. It can't be this general message for anyone that they've got to figure out, "Well, is this for me or is it not?"

As the business owner, you've got to be really clear around who it's for and how your product or service can help them. How you do this is by going beyond general demographics like age, gender, location and creating a customer Avatar - one person that represents your ideal client.

From here you can creating all of your content, programs, products to serve that person.

Part 4 - Offers + Products

The next part on the business plan is your offers and your products. This is a really important part of the plan because it's how you make money and at the end of the day you need to be making money in order for your business to survive and thrive.

Profit is a good thing and it's something that you do not want to shy away from. You want to get really clear on how much money you need to be making and how you're going to be making that money. What are your different revenue streams? What are your costs and expenses? In this one page plan we just want to get clear on where your money coming from and where it’s going then you can do a deeper dive on the numbers behind the scenes.

Part 5 + 6 - 90 Day Goals + BHAG

The final two parts of the plan I'm going to talk about together. These parts, the 90 Day Goals and the BHAG are where abstract gets turned into action!

Typical strategic planning is done either semiannually or annually but the problem with that, especially being a small business, is that things change way too quickly.

And actually, there's science to validate that goals that are longer than 90 days are extremely hard to stay focused and attached to, so chunking down goals into 90-day goals will help you stay focused and motivated and make the goal you are working on way more manageable.

The 90-day goals section is where you capture the next right steps that you need to take over the next 90 days to move you towards your vision and allow you to actualize your purpose.

Then there is the BHAG. Some of you may be familiar with this term, the big hairy audacious goal.

The big hairy audacious goal in the middle of this plan is the thing that you're taking on for the entire year, the moonshot that you are going after. If you could accomplish one thing, if you couldn't fail, what would you take on? That's what goes in the center of the circle.

Let yourself feel a little bit scared. Dream big. That’s what a BHAG is all about!

The One Page Business Plan For The Values-Drive Entrepreneur

To help you get started, I've got more than just a blank one-page business plan. I've also included a few helpful coaching questions for each section to help you work through the plan as if you had a business coach by your side helping you with it.

So go ahead, download your Free copy of The One Page Business Plan using the link below and start creating your roadmap towards your dreams.

Download Your Plan Here

Kristin Constable, Leadership + Business Coach

Identity Based Habits

How To Leverage The Combo Of Identity and Habits

I Am. Two of the most powerful words in the English language that can either be limiting beliefs that hold you back, or they can be empowering identity driving statements.

Which would you prefer?

So let me ask you, what would be possible if you had a tool in your toolkit that allowed you to remove any unwanted behavior and actually create any wanted behavior, whether that be in your self-leadership, with your team, in your business? What would be possible? Would you be able to go after and really actualize that big hairy audacious goal of yours, or manifest that vision for your business and your life? Or maybe it would be that you would have such a solid foundation that you would be unshakable. Your habits to way of being would just be so solid that nothing could throw you off course.

It is possible…

From my experience, the answer to the three questions I posed above is yes, it is very possible, and it's possible with the help of one very powerful tool - Identity-Based Habits.

Identity Based Habits

Identity based habits takes the best from the science of habit formation and pairs that with one of the most powerful pieces of our psychology, our identity - the way we see ourselves in the world.

When we pair those two things together, we get these supercharged habits that allow us to live into the highest version of ourselves. Because the thing with our identity is that we get to create it, moment to moment, day to day. It is not static. When we understand this, we can use that to our advantage to create identity-based habits that serve us. Super powerful stuff.

Identity Based Habits At Work

Just recently, I was working with one of my clients and we were doing this work. She identified that she had some limiting I Am beliefs.

Beliefs like I'm just like a small business. I'm a small not super legit operation. This is how she saw herself as an entrepreneur.

So what we worked on was creating a new and empowering identity around herself as an entrepreneur.

What she got connected to was this identity instead - I am an expert marketer.

From this new identity her behaviours and habits shifted. Her old habits habits reflected that of a small business owner, not really a professional, not really someone who is out to have a huge impact on the world. That showed up as working at home in her pajamas. Not investing in her business. Not setting herself up with the tools and the systems that allowed her to show up as an expert.

When she shifted her I Am statement (her identity) to that of an expert marketer, her habits shifted. She showed up for work dressed as a professional. She started investing in her business with the tools she needed to do her job well.

Creating Identity Based Habits For Yourself

Step 1: Identify your disempowering and empowering I Am statements

Empowering I Am statements are I Am statements that are creative. They add to your identity in a positive way and move you in the direction of your bigger picture vision and goals.

They are things like; I am creative. I am loving. I am great with people.

Disempowering I Am statements, on the other hand, are limiting beliefs about yourself. They are things that hold you back. They get in the way of you actually moving towards your bigger picture vision and goals.

They are things like; I'm not a morning person, I'm not great in front of the camera, I'm not creative. Anything that’s going to block you from moving towards your vision and goals.

To help you identify these empowering and disempowering I Am statements you are going to notice your language and use it as a clue to shine light on what your beliefs are.

If you have trouble with this exercise enroll someone that you trust in this process. Tell them what you are up to and ask them to help you pick out your common I Am statements.

Step 2: Have clarity around your big picture vision

What is it that you're working towards? What matters to you most? What values are important for you to live into?

These are important questions to consider in this work. They will help guide you in creating empowering I Am statements that will serve the big picture vision you have for yourself.

If you don't have clarity that yet, not to worry. Head on over to the How To Create A Powerful Vision video. It's about eight minutes long and will help you with that piece, then you can move on to the next step.

Step 3: Create your habit

Using an empowering I Am statement you are going to create a habit that reinforces that piece of your identity. In order for this to work your I Am statement needs to both be true to you, and it needs to move you in the direction of your bigger picture vision.

With your solid I Am statement you are now going to implement a habit using the Cue, Routine, Reward habit model introduced by Charles Duhigg.

The Cue is going to be the thing that triggers you to start the routine. The Routine is going to be the actions you take to reinforce your I Am statement. The Reward is the intrinsic or extrinsic reward you get for completing the routine.

I’ll give you an example of an identity-based habit I have implemented over the years:

I wanted to create around the identity of being a world class coach.

I asked myself, “if I was a world class coach how would I prepared for my coaching calls?”

In the past, before I owned the identity of ‘world class coach’, I would find myself rushing onto my calls, booking myself back to back, and not feeling really set up or grounded to be in that place to serve fully.

My shift was setting up a routine, a habit for myself, to ground myself and get myself fully into the zone before my calls.

The cue for this habit is now my calendar. I give myself at least 15 minutes before every call. A notification goes off in my calendar and that's my cue to begin my routine.

My routine looks something like a three to five minute meditation, a mantra to support me in serving on the highest level, and aroma therapy essential oils to get me in the mental state I need to be on to be a ‘world class coach’.

The reward is pretty simple because the way that I feel when I get on to those calls after preparing like that is a reward in itself.

I hope you can see from that example that our identity can be used (and leveraged) to create habits small and large that allow us to live into the highest versions of ourselves and actualize those bigger picture goals and dreams you have.

Now it's your turn. Using the Values-Exploration Discovery exercise time to create your empowering I Am statements and identity-based habits.

Rooting your I Am statements in your values is a really effective way to take this on. Download your FREE Values Discovery Workbook and start creating powerful identity-based habits for yourself.

Kristin Constable, Leadership + Business Coach

How To Overcome Perfectionism

There is one limiting belief that really does make or break entrepreneurs.


As an entrepreneur perfectionism is deadly to your business and to you and your sanity if you really want to play big and take on things that you've never done before. So today, we're going to take a look under the hood and look out what actually is behind perfectionism and why is it present for so many people.

And don't worry, I'm not going to leave you hanging. I'm also going to share with you The Perfectionists Workout, a workbook i’ve created to help you workout your growth mindset muscles to help you overcome perfectionism.

What even is perfectionism?

Okay, so first things first. Let's define what perfectionism really is. There's no better person to go to on this other than the queen on this subject, Brené Brown.

Brené Brown talks about perfectionism and distinguishes it from healthy striving or wanting to move towards excellence. She talks about perfectionism and striving as very different things. I'm sure if you're an A type high performer, that is good news to you because this idea of not striving or not working towards excellence is probably a little bit disconcerting.

Perfectionism is the belief that unless you are perfect, unless you show up and live perfectly, be perfectly, act perfectly, you are not worthy and that it really is, it really comes down to not being seen, or not wanting to be seen, fear of being seen. And the impact of that as an entrepreneur is huge. Especially if you are an entrepreneur and you are your brand.

The Cost Of Perfectionism

So imagine now ... And maybe you don't have to imagine. Maybe this is you. You are your brand and you're not wanting to show up and be seen because you think in order to be seen and show up fully, you have to be perfect. You have to show up in this perfect package or you have to nail it the first time. It might look like launching a course. It might be as simple as a social media post. But when you believe that the only way to be successful is to absolutely nail it, what happens is you don't actually take the next step. You don't actually even play.

An amazing analogy that I like to share when it comes to this is around a dart board. So imagine a dart board. And imagine playing darts, but the only way you are willing to take a shot was if you knew you were going to hit the bullseye. There is no fun in that game at all. And the possibility of you being successful and feeling successful is very, very small. When you open up your possibility to be like, "I'm okay with wherever that dart lands. I'm going to do my best because there's going to be learning in the process and I'm going to get better and better as I grow," that is where real growth happens. And that's where you can actually make movement towards having that wildly successful business and living that rich and fulfilling values driven life.

How To Overcome Perfectionism

Okay, so what the hell do you do about this? The first step, like all of these limiting barriers and beliefs, is to create an awareness around it. So bring to mind a place where perfectionism is holding you back. A place where you're not taking the shot where you know you really want to take that shot. Take a moment to think about that, journal on it, do whatever you need to get clear on the cost of perfectionism to you and your business.

The flip side of that cost is around fear of scarcity and saying yes to things that you actually should be saying no to. These are the things that have you playing safe, that have you not really stepping out of your comfort zone because you know that you can do them and that you can show up and look good. Those are just as detrimental to your success as the areas that you're not taking shots on. So take a moment to journal around that. Where are you taking shots that you actually should probably let go and you should say no to because they aren't in alignment with what you actually ... What your big picture vision and your big picture goals are.

Choosing A Growth Mindset

Choosing a growth mindset over a fixed mindset is where your freedom lies. People with a fixed mindset believe that their abilities are never changing, that they're fixed, that they can't actually get better at something if they don't know how to do it. They see failure as a reflection on their own shortcomings. So no wonder when failure comes up, they don't like it or they want to avoid it all together.

The link between a fixed mindset and perfectionism is huge. When you believe that you cannot change, when you believe that failure is a bad thing, you're not going to take the risk, make the leap, take that shot.

The alternate to fixed mindset is a growth mindset. A growth mindset can be cultivated no matter what mindset you might currently have. It's just a practice. People with a growth mindset believe that everything is figureoutable. That failure is actually an opportunity to grow and learn. They see failure as something that's interesting and they get curious about it. They also believe that their skillset and their abilities can change and that they can cultivate, and do anything, and be anything that they want. You can probably start to see how this mindset can really serve you when it comes to overcoming perfectionism and really stepping out of that fear of failure.

The Perfectionist’s Workout

If you don't know, right now, whether you have a fixed or a growth mindset, no prob. I've got you covered. Download The Perfectionist Workout. The assessment will give you a clue to which mindset you spend most of your time in and then from there you can choose a “workout” to workout your growth mindset muscles.

All right, so it's time to get into action. What is one thing that you can do today that would have you take a shot somewhere that you have been holding back? It can be big, it can be small. The key here is that you're getting into action right away.

Comment below with the one thing that you're taking a shot on that you know you should, but you've been holding back.

If you found this post helpful share it with some friends and make sure to check out some of the other posts in this Overcoming Limiting Beliefs Series like - How To Say No Without Feeling Guilty.

Ready to do some deep dive limiting beliefs mindset work? Connect with me for a complimentary Goal Design Coaching Session to co-create your next steps.

Kristin Constable, Whole Life Leadership + Business Coach

How To Say No Without Feeling Guilty | OvercomE the limiting beliefs that hold you back

How To Say No Without Feeling Guilty | OvercomE the limiting beliefs that hold you back

What I've discovered is it's not only possible to learn how to say no, you can learn how to do this without feeling guilty with the help of one foundational practice.

Get To Know Your Inner Saboteurs | Overcome The Limiting Beliefs That Hold You Back

Let's take a minute to talk about these inner saboteurs and how they hold us back.

First of all, everyone has some version of these inner critics to some degree or the other. The goal isn't to not have them at all, rather the goal is to recognize that they're there and get into the driver's seat so that they don't drive your behavior or hold you back.

Shirzad Chamine, author of Positive Intelligence, a great book around inner saboteurs, talks about one inner saboteur specifically that he's named the Judge. The Judge is this inner critic that looks at ourselves and others through the lens of is this good or bad. As humans we're actually hardwired to have this inner critic. The judge has helped you survive and has protected you from physical and emotional pain. The Judge can be really helpful in fact if you understand it's role. However, if the Judge is running it can hold you back from being able to show up powerfully in your work, in your relationships, and in your life.

Step 1 To Overcome Any Limiting Belief

So, how do you overcome this overuse? The first stage of any behavior change is awareness. My tip for you around awareness goes back to subject-object theory in psychology. When you can subjectify something as outside of yourself it allow you to create some space from it and makes it easier to see it for what it truly is. In the case of limiting beliefs subjectifying the belief makes it a lot easier to name it, to identify it, and see it as something separate from who you are.

Your first practice is to observe your inner voice, the patterns, the tone, the ways of thinking that show up for you. Start to subjectify what you discover by giving each element a name. It could be the judge. One that I've identified for myself is the Rigid Quality Controller, this is the inner critic that needs lots of control and needs to make sure everything is perfect.

Step 2 In Overcoming Any Limiting Belief

All right, so let's talk about what to do once you have some awareness around what these annoying little voices are all about and also how they've served you in the past. That's part of that work in stage one, is to identify them and look at how they've served you in the past.

Once you're there, now you get to be in choice. This is a really important part around the coaching model, awareness isn't enough. You now need to ask yourself, what choices do I have? The best way to really get in choice around moving forward differently is looking at the costs versus the benefits of this inner critic. What are the costs that come along with being the Judge? The Rigid Quality Controller? Whatever it is that this inner critic that you've come up with, look at the costs that it has on your life, on your relationships, and the way that you're able to show up in the world. Then, look at the benefits. As I said, most of these saboteurs are there for a reason. They've served you in some way. So, honor them. From that place, you'll be able to powerfully say thanks, but no thanks to the ones that aren't serving you anymore.

That is your second practice, look at the costs and the benefits of your inner critics so that you can choose a new way.

Once you have chosen your new way, now it's time to activate. This part takes a little bit of work, and if you're not clear on it yet it's all good.

If you aren't clear on your new way take 12 minutes to listen to this guided Future Self Visualization that can help you really tap into the type of energy that you want to choose to activate.

Just like we did subject-object with the inner critics, we want to do subject-object with who we actually want to be.

Step 3 To Overcome Any Limiting Belief

The final tip that I want to leave you with around how to break free of these inner saboteurs is around action. Again, awareness without action is useless. It's good to start to know your inner saboteurs, but then you need to do something with it. One of the best tools I have here around getting into action comes from habit research, and it's the idea of an if-then queue. If-then queues are brilliant because they take the thinking out of things. They work as a trigger. If this happens, then I do this.

How to apply this to this work would look something like this:

"If my inner saboteur of the rigid quality controller comes up, then I take a moment to acknowledge that saboteur, say thank you, and choose my new way instead."

A really helpful way to remind yourself about this or your new way is through something that I call an anchor. An anchor is something that you can see, feel, or touch that can kind of bring you back or anchor you back to your new way. For me, I wear a necklace. Having that necklace is a reminder about my new way.

We've talked about a lot here, time to recap!

We talked about three things:

First, getting to know your inner saboteurs and awareness around what's actually there.

Second, getting into choice around what the alternatives are and how they've actually served you in the past, these inner critics or inner saboteurs, how have they served you? And what choice are you making now?

Third get into action using an if-then queue and an anchor.

Don't forget to download that Future Self-Visualization it will help you get clear on what you are saying yes to when you say no to those inner critics.

I'd love to know what is one saboteur that you've identified that gets in the way of you leading that wildly successful business or living that rich and fulfilling values driven life? Comment below because remember, just naming it is the first step to getting into action here. So, you're already taking the first step by doing that, but put it in the comments below.

Kristin Constable